i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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