I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
