ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
