Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
