Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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