There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
