Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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