Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
