This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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