I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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