I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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