Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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