walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
