Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My bed smells like the plague
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
