I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
