its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize