Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
