She's JV to your varsity
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
