you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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