I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
