So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize