Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize