Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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