I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
