I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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