my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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