I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
