I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
The adults are the big ones right?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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