Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
