dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
