if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize