You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
