I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
