Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize