if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
