does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
