my mouth tastes like poor choices
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize