Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"

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(814): I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?" http://tfl.nu/fmqf

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(281): View more from Texas

On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?

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(281): On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do? http://tfl.nu/4exj

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(201): View more from New Jersey

In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

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(201): In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7 http://tfl.nu/idur

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.

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(918): He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day. http://tfl.nu/2bxp

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(770): View more from Georgia

he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players

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(770): he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players http://tfl.nu/ani7

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Chalk up having sex in a car wash.

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(870): Chalk up having sex in a car wash. http://tfl.nu/k9pw

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(212): View more from New York

Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?

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(212): Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help? http://tfl.nu/19hc

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(712): View more from Iowa

I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love

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(712): I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/bjop

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?

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(403): I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing? http://tfl.nu/frkv

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(415): View more from California

Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.

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(415): Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked. http://tfl.nu/gx9q

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.

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(973): Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle. http://tfl.nu/gy9y

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(708): View more from Illinois

Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.

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(708): Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here. http://tfl.nu/8u6g

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(914): View more from New York

true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"

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(914): true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS" http://tfl.nu/3w8r

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(406): View more from Montana

I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive

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(406): I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive http://tfl.nu/6hck

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.

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(731): Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me. http://tfl.nu/smua

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