Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation