yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?