I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?