i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
