oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
