so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Never joke about your clitoris.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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