Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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