i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize