I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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