is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
