So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
