I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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