Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
