4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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