Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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