you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize