I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
